1) Someone trying to pull an April Fools’ prank on you
Oh hell no. Don’t even try it. You’ve been playing this game since you were born. They’ll never win. You will break them.
2) Someone saying they got you a gift- and then shouting “April Fools!”
Oh yeah, never heard that one before, you cheapskate.
3) Intricate fake surprise parties of Rube Goldberg-like complexity
Seriously. Your parents forgot your birthday, oh then they remembered, but the party’s somewhere else, oh surprise there’s no party- it’s at Grandma’s! APRIL FOOLS! It’s like the opening to Primer.
4) Getting fooled by your parents every year- until you were 8
“Haha, so good, mom- yeah, it’s totally April 2nd, I slept through my birthday! You’ve definitely never done that one before.”
5) Pretending like every relative who called totally got you
“Yeah, grandma, you totally got me. No, no one today has told me that I slept through my birthday, not at all.”
6) The terrible April Fools’ birthday jokes people come up with
7) The ridiculous trick questions people think are witty
No, it’s not called “lateral thinking”. You’re just insufferable.
8) The people who don’t believe that it’s your birthday
Because a bunch of other idiots like to joke it’s their birthday on April 1st.
9) Thinking how terrible it must be for your friends to have normal birthdays
Having a weird April Fools’ birthday is literally the best. And hey- even if it’s a little annoying sometimes, at least you weren’t born close to Christmas.